Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Dear 'Dear Wendy'

Dear 'Dear Wendy',
it is important for me not to forget, but that doesn't mean that it is important to remember, because it actually hurts me, and it distracts me, and it keeps me awake when I want to sleep; so I call you "dear", since you distracted me without hurting and you didn't make me remember anything at all. I enjoyed you and now I want to have you with me in three different parts. At least.
I would like to have a copy of you. I would like to have a copy of your soundtrack. I would like to have a copy of your screenplay. Did I say "at least"? Perhaps I would like to have something else from you. Or to have had. But I won't grow pathetic, I've learned somehow to be conformist, that's something that perhaps you don't know from me, do you?
A lot of facts you don't know about me, dear 'Dear Wendy', and I am glad for. I've never thought of myself to be a mysterious or deep guy, so, if there's something you may ignore about me, I feel a little bit like that. It helps my self esteem.
However, when I finish today, you might know something else about me. I hope I don't dissapoint you.
The first time I visited you it was late at night, remember? The last night, the closing night of the Fantasy Film Fest, in that theater, full, and my hidden arousal filling the empty spaces around me. I was surprised, and I felt really good for I came to know you sooner than a lot of other persons who would do it afterwards, outside a festival.
I didn't have to behave empathetic, I didn't feel the need of identifying myself with any of your characters, although I could've done it; what I want to acclaim is your sensibility for not falling into those emotional and trendy holes for catching other persons. And you didn't even if the theater was full. For moments you made me feel angry, or upset, but not towards you, just for you made clear that I was just a visitor with the right to know what was going on which each of the persons around who were not visitors. Was I then a part of yours or was I behaving emotional? I don't think either way. What I think is that you conquered me with your fine and honest behaviour. Besides you were looking pretty good. And your behaviour was that of the fine ones.
So, you introduced to me a city and some persons living right there. You showed me the faces and features of those persons whose names you said, perhaps you didn't really talk about Cynthia and that Sheriff (not Krugsby, the other one), but the rest were quite recongnizable according to what you told about them. In a moment I could've decided to left that city or even to live there. I didn't leave, but I didn't dwell there either, that was a big achivement from you, you know? part of your beautiness.
When I left the theater room and I have to wait a long for the train which took me home, your were present, with me, in me. For sure you talked about inspiration and you didn't do it for free. Actually I don't think that any comment from you was for free, you charged every single word, so every single cent I paid for meeting you was worth.
So that I even went to see you again. How did you feel to meeting me again? This second time you were pretty lonesome, Andreu was with me and in the rest of the room were less persons than the fingers I have. I don't think you felt bad because of that, did you?
The second time the surprise was lesser than the first time, but I enjoyed you even more. I paid more attention to your words, and I paid to meet you a second time. This time your speech felt a bit better, letting each one of the persons you introduced to take a more specific part in the sketch I was drawing while we were talking. I didn't get angry or upset, and perhaps I understood more why and once again I didn't grow that emotional, then I thought that perhaps that's why not so many people came to visit you and that's why I think you were not dissapointed.
I don't know whether Andreu liked you, but I enjoyed to watch you and hear you while he was by my side. That's another feature from me that you know. Don't tell to anybody, please, I could be misinterpreted.
Dear 'Dear Wendy', I hope next time you come to visit me, I guess I deserve it, don't you think so?
Honestly yours,

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